Tools to Improve My Attitude - Part 2

I have been using Evernote on-line and on my cell and it has been great. I can clip articles and save them to read later. I can edit the articles, tag them, and put them in folders. I can do the same with voice recordings and pictures from my cell. I can retrieve them on my phone to refer to later, although there is a little trick to it. On my computer, I do a search on the ones I want to read later by their tag and save the search. I can use my cell later, select the saved search and all the articles (or pictures) I want to read come up. Previously, I had been copying and pasting blog articles on Word, printing and filing them if I wanted to refer to them later. This is a lot easier and takes up no paper or space. I use the voice recordings to remember something that I heard on the radio or to save an idea that I had. I don’t use the photo function that much. If I need a photo reminder, I just take a picture of a note and save it on my cell phone home screen, like “Get gas”.
The other one I use is box.net. I have uploaded a lot of the blog articles that I have saved. I also have taken notes on A New Earth (the book and the Oprah on-line classes) that are stored here and some other PDF articles that I have uploaded. I can read these on my cell at any time.

Tools to Improve My Attitude - Part 1

Since I am easily affected by negative surroundings, I have been trying to find ways to improve my attitude. I have several favorites, but the one I want to write about is reading positive material. I have a collection of books and subscribe to Oprah, but there is a free source that I take advantage of. I don’t remember the first blog that I read, but by using Google Reader, I now subscribe to over 300 Blogs. They mostly would fall under a “self improvement” or “motivational” theme. I also read about travel, humor, current events, shopping and other miscellaneous interests. I can set up folders under the above titles, star my favorites, and even send them to Evernote for later reading on my cell phone. I did try Reader on my cell and was not happy with it. Many of my favorite writers have blogs and I keep finding more to try. One thing that I have just started doing is commenting on the blogs that I read. It’s another way for me to express myself, since I’ve been discouraged from doing so at home. In fact, most of my favorite web sites these days have to do either with positive thinking, journal writing, blogs, Twitter and Facebook. They have been a big help.

Still Bitter, Is There a Cost?

When my teacher failed me in nursing school, was it a blessing? I had to drop out of nursing school. I was later re-admitted, but a new teacher at the school failed me. I was heart-broken and hated her for many years . I wanted to become a nurse after my mom died, I worked as a nursing assistant for a year, got good job reviews, entered school, got good grades but had to drop out because my husband got sick. When I re-entered ( I even audited a course that I had previously taken, because I did not want to take any chances that I might have forgotten something), they assigned me to a new teacher for my clinical experience. She was an experienced nurse, but never taught before. Besides the fact that I was an experienced certified nursing assistant and had received good clinical grades previously, it was a short summer semester, so I was not worried. During the first few weeks, she expressed frequent concerns about a male student. When she seemed satisfied with his progress, she focused on the oldest student in her class (me). Now I was getting the patients with the 20 (no kidding) different meds. I had to memorize each one, with the type of drug, how it worked, drug interactions, and side effects literally overnight. Well, I did it and she said that I took too long to recite this information. She ignored other students and followed me around. One day, I went up to a new patient with my meds and said, “Wait a minute. You are not Mrs. _____. I was still holding the meds and went to the other bed and said Hello, Mrs. _________. My teacher accused me of trying to give meds to the wrong patient, and failed me. I guess it would have gone better if she had gone after me first instead of the only male student. Then I would have had time to prove myself to her. What amazed me was that she was so obsessed with me, that she never checked to see if all the other students had the required experience of giving injections or doing dressing changes. I tried to dispute her claim, but being in a Catholic School, questioning authority was useless. I was heartbroken and in shock. I loved nursing and if I had won the lottery I would have done it for free. But unfortunately, being out of the working force for so long had severely stressed my finances and I had to get a job paying more than a nursing assistant. I went back to the bookkeeping world. I am still feeling bitter. I don’t know what good came out of it. Maybe something good will happen. Are my negative feelings keeping this from happening?

How to Become Rich

I define “rich” as the quality of the life that you living. Money is one of many tools that can be used to increase your quality of life. An abundance of money does exist, but at this very moment it may not be in your bank account. Do what you can to change this, but if you have enough to take care of your basic needs, be grateful. Working toward your goal, a positive attitude, and gratitude are other useful tools.

Things That Have Kept Me Sane

What I like to do: Listen to music, read, drive my car with the moon roof open, enjoying the breeze ( I live in Florida). I used to enjoy gardening when I lived in New Jersey,. I planted begonias, marigolds, geraniums, zinnias, coleus, I planted a flower bed, hanging baskets and pots around my front door. When I was 10 or so, I used to like to sketch. My parents could not afford the lessons that an artistic neighbor suggested, but I’d like to try it again. I used to go to the library every week during the summer and borrow as many books as they would let me have. My parents were not big readers ,so I don’t know how I inherited the “reading gene”. By the time I was 14, I read Dickens, Hawthorne, Alcott, Hardy, Baldwin and Shakespeare and every super-hero comic I could get my hands on. When I was a teen-ager and subject to bouts of depression, I used to like to take the train downtown and walk from City Hall to the Art Museum in the fall.
I know that I inherited my enjoyment of music from my mother. In the early sixties,rock and roll was relatively new and few adults like it. Of course, that was before the influence of drugs. My mom liked Elvis, Chuck Berry, the Beach Boys, the Four Seasons (of Jersey Boys fame, among others.She also enjoyed the music of her youth, especially by Frank Sinatra and music of the Big Band Era. I take after her in a way, because my son likes to share the music he listens to with me. I wonder how I am influencing my kids. I guess it flows from one generation to the next. These are tools of survival. They've gotten me to where I am today

Just Glad It's Over

Last Wednesday, I went to get my yearly Reclast treatment for my osteoporosis. With this treatment, I could go a whole year without taking those weekly or monthly pills that I forget to take half the time. The medical center is about 10 minutes from home and the treatment takes less than an hour so I left my pork roast in the fridge, thinking I could cook it later. Less than 5 minutes after the IV started, I felt dizzy and sweaty. I called the nurse, they disconnected the IV, gave me oxygen, checked my pulse (40) and I heard one say she could not get a blood pressure reading and they were calling 911. I was in the ER for a couple of hours and was told that I would be discharged. Then a nurse came in and checked my blood pressure. It was 70 over something. They gave me dopamine to raise it and tilted the upper part of my body back on the bed. I felt like I was passing out. They stopped the dopamine and said that I was probably allergic to Reclast, but since it is a rare reaction, they wanted to put me in ICU for observation with a heart monitor.

I’ve read a lot about trying to live in the present moment, but I had no desire to do so while I was hooked up to an IV and a heart monitor, getting Nexium shots in my stomach, undergoing bloodwork, etc. It’s hard to be spiritual when you are in the hospital.

The Basics

One of the most common signs of depression is neglecting your responsibilities. I know when I was depressed, I neglected household chores and paying the bills. Eventually the depression made me feel so exhausted that it took most of the day to get enough energy to take a shower. On top of that, my husband did not realize my depression and just thought I was lazy.

Looking back on that dark period, I now realize that if I make a list of the basic things that I really need to do to keep my life running smoothly and check them off when completed, I not only get a sense of accomplishment that keeps my spirits up, but I am also preventing future depression, as well. It must be a very basic list. No goals, no big projects. Just the things that fell apart the last time I was depressed:

Get dressed as soon as I wake up.
Cleaning kitchen every day
Make the bed every day.
Keep up with the laundry.
Hair and make-up every day.
Taking my meds.
Make sure we have enough food in the house
Check the bills

This list is the absolute minimum that I have to keep up with. If I am having a bad day and I still get these things done, I am surviving to fight another day.