How I Celebrated Thanksgiving

In a large glass, pour 3 oz. of red wine and fill the rest with diet lemon-lime soda. Tastes like sangria. And sip it, don't chug it down. Start AFTER the turkey is in the oven.

Put 4-5 ounces of skinless turkey on your plate, then veggies, then small amounts of your favorite foods side by side, don’t pile anything. If you run out of room on your plate, remind yourself that the other foods are not your favorites. Also, chew your food slowly and enjoy the taste. By the time you clean your plate, you will be reasonably full. Then stop eating. Tell yourself that you feel fine now and you don’t need a stomach ache later. After dinner, clean up as much as you can. If you must serve dessert, purchase one and make it the smallest one you can get, and cut very small servings. Again, eat slowly and enjoy the taste. If you find yourself going back for seconds, you will be aware that you are in the danger zone and at this point you need to put the dessert in the fridge and leave the area. If you have kids, it will be gone by morning.

Watch Kill Bill Vol. 1 with family.

Developing Self Respect: It Does Sound Pathetic

It takes very little for me to have self-respect:
If the bed is made, we all have clean clothes for the day, I have food in the fridge, the bills are paid, the dishwasher is empty or running and I have wiped my counters and sink : that is an amazing day
If I can clean a bathroom or mop a floor, I am ass-kicking awesome.
I guess I gotta start somewhere.

Damn, I'm Prolific Today: Christmas Memories

I read a blog about Christmas shopping lists today. Since I don't keep a list anymore (Get the cards done, decorate, stockings filled, find out what video games, CD's, DVD's the kids like......maybe I should keep a Christmas to-do list), I didn't have an appropriate comment to make. But that didn't stop me from taking a trip down Memory Lane.

I should've paid more attention when my 4 month old baby spent more time playing with the ribbons than her toys. Yes, I not only wrapped the presents, but trimmed then with ribbons and bows (pre-made , of course). For a 4 month old. In later years, I hid down the basement on Christmas Eve, and did the wrapping on the floor, since we had not table down there, taking breaks when my legs fell asleep. (Yeah, I'm a last minute shopper). When my kids were teen-agers, I finally got sensible and tried buying big plastic bags with Christmas designs, and just threw their presents in, unwrapped. Can you believe it, they were disappointed? The next year they got video games , CD's or movies put in their stocking. One stop shopping for all. Now that was a Merry Christmas. No sore knees.

Proud of myself in a perverse way. On the one hand, this is my second blog post in one day. On the other hand, don't I have more important things to do today?

I Live in a Glass House and I Also Throw Stones

All my adult life, I have felt to be in competition with the “Centerfold”. To me, she did not feel human. I could not imagine having men I did not know or whom I did not consider attractive or even likeable masturbating over my picture while imagining doing all kinds of things to me. Yet on the other hand, by posing in these pictures that were so easily available these women were acknowledging the humanity of their male viewers. Which is something I did not do. I was the person who did not acknowledge the unattractive men while at the same time I would be nervous around the good-looking ones. I do what I criticized men for doing: I treated people differently based on their looks. Since I always considered myself to be plain looking, even when I looked my best, I had become the female version of the type of person played by Ernest Borgnine in Marty. I also did what he did, I got to know a really sweet guy, who was passably attractive, due to a combination of physical and inner beauty. In fact, he also had to go beyond the initial appearance with me and we fell in love.

Today I am a lot older and I realize that there are two types of women: the ones who care about who sees them naked and the ones who don’t. Feeling one way or the other does not make you a better person because it doesn’t define who you are. Sure, the women who are centerfolds, etc. are airbrushed,professionally made up and physically blessed. They also have to maintain their diets, exercise and, in some cases, have difficult surgical procedures to achieve their status. Again, I often felt that I was unfairly judged because of my age and weight. Then why do I make presumptions of the Playboy women? I consider myself to be a loving wife, mother, with a slightly off-beat sense of humor, watches horror films, love music, books, travel and could not survive without my spirituality . Many of the Playboy women, strippers, etc. are no different, I’m sure. Although I wonder how many have a comparable collection of Tigger dolls.(Don't judge me.)

Supporting Your Friends

I realized today that it’s just as important for me to support my friends as it is for them to support me. Sometimes I don’t feel like going out when a friend invites me to an event. I think that I’m not in the mood. I used to be very shy as a child and old habits keep trying to come back into my life. But that’s not the point: how I feel. When you are an introvert, that is what you focus on. My friend has invited me to show support for her venture. That is what keeps a friendship going, that feeling of support. And I am always glad that I did it.

Warning: I'm Rambling On and On (Again)

I was thinking about religion today. Well, first I need to make this clear that I don’t try to make other people agree with me. I guess what I really want to do is to straighten out my own thinking. I mean, I believe in God. But what is God, to me? Is he the Old Testament God, the nonpersonal God of Buddhism and Hinduism? Is he a synonym for the Universe? But do I really believe? I’ve always thought that there had to be a creator. But a few weeks ago, I heard a scientist talk about the existence of multiple universes that have no beginning. He asked why people have such a hard time imagining the universe without a beginning when they can accept a Creator that always existed. The Creator, who always existed: first of all, can I accept that? Can I accept a being who always existed and put deliberate thought into creating one (or more) universes? Or I can believe that the Universe(s) always existed in one place or another. But there was a big bang, where did the original materials come from and how did it start the process? And what is the Universe, anyway? Is it the stars, planets, etc.? Or is somehow every conscious being on earth, connecting to each other. In a way, I envy people who are atheists, they are so certain. Of course, I think they are too wrapped up in their criticisms of organized religion to be able to think it through. If there were no organized religions, I wonder how would they feel, about the existence of God as well as their own spirituality.

I must believe in something that exists out there, because when I do feel the need for prayer, if I didn’t believe in a God, who am I praying to? Another part of my problem, is that although I am interested in spirituality, I have noticed that lately I am not praying as much as I used to and I am also finding excuses not to meditate. If I am really spiritual , that would not happen, now would it? Am I someone who claims to be spiritual because I like that label? Am I a hypocrite? I think I am letting my spiritual practice backslide. Maybe, that is why I am feeling so empty lately.

Sorry if this looks like I’m rambling on and on, but part of the reason I keep a blog is to help me to sort through this stuff.

Bullying Gay Kids

People under the age of 21 are greatly affected by peer pressure. More so today than when I was a kid. (I was picked on, too). The ones who are gay already receive a message from society that they are not as good as everyone else. Look at DADT, adoption rights, gay marriage. Television often shows gay stereotypes, when they show gays at all, There are many people who think they don't know any gay people because so many are afraid to come out. This is the world that they are going to live in and that is scary enough without bullying them