Thursday, October 29, 2009

What Is Really Scary?

With Halloween almost here, I have been reading interviews where well-known people are asked, “What are your favorite scary movies?" I have seen quite a few, both while growing up and going with my son (mother and son bonding). But a more important question for me is: What am I scared of? Well, it has nothing to do with movies. The following are the three big ones.

Leaving my comfort zone - I guess the times that I grew up had something to do with this. My parents would compare me with me with my very-outgoing cousin and label me “good” and my cousin “wild”. I attended a very strict Catholic school where anyone who got out of line was physically punished. My Dad told me when I graduated high school that it was a waste of money for me to go to college ( I wanted to be a teacher). I feel like I should be doing what other people expect of me. I have been working on that.

Confrontation - I have been afraid of displays of anger ever since I can remember. I am learning that I can handle these situations when I can set up ground rules to make sure that it doesn’t get out of hand.

Negativity - How it can change my positive mood to a depressive one. I work to keep that from happening because the quality of my life is too important to me. When I get depressed, it impacts my relationships and my family life. There have been times when I had to sink pretty low before I began to climb out. I now use inspirational quotes, articles, books, humor, music, writing, meditation and prayer to keep myself going. I recently discovered that taking the time to organize something when I am feeling good can help me later by giving me an accomplishment that I can look at when I need to.

The reasons I developed these fears are not important. The first step is to acknowledge what frightens me and the effects it has on the quality of my life. The next step is taking control. Now that can be really scary.

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